Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Doing the right thing... when you feel like it.

Its been so long that Ive had this feeling... The last time I remembered it... it was back at secondary school or Uni also but didnt have that strong of a feeling in Uni. Doing something that Im happy with it and I kinda enjoy doing it.

Today at Burgerlab we have some marking out (going to expired but not serving to customer anymore) chicken thigh which is supposed to be thrown away. Somehow Im not sure whose idea it is that we made them into sandwiches and gave it to the homeless and not sure how or why that I willing to join, but im glad I did.

So we went on, 4 people to KL at the end of shift around Menara Maybank area. It was first for me, Im not sure how many of them did it before but looks like most of us did it for the first time. Its a different side of KL as I never been here so late, there was quite a number of people there, most of the people were asleep so don't feel like kacao them also. We left the food and drinks there and some woke up we just past it to them.  Sadly we have too less for too many as we didnt had much just around 15 sandwiches and mineral waters and we managed to give them all out within minutes.

On the way back, I felt satisfied somehow like, maybe this is something I wanted to do. Its a feeling not like yumcha with people. Of course I shouldnt compare this and yumcha but then... I think I can call it a feeling of happiness and its something that I didnt felt for a long time.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

4 Songs

Its been awhile that I had songs that I felt related to my life.... cause to be honest... My life too less drama and no love life to relate to love songs (kinda)

7 Years - Lukas Graham

"Once I was seven years old my momma told me
 Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely
 Once I was seven years old"

"Once I was eleven years old my daddy told me
 Go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely
 Once I was eleven years old"

"Once I was 20 years old, my story got told
 Before the morning sun, when life was lonely
 Once I was 20 years old"

"Soon we'll be 30 years old, our songs have been sold
 We've traveled around the world and we're still roaming
 Soon we'll be 30 years old"

"Soon I'll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold
 Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me
 Soon I'll be 60 years old"

First up, is a song reflecting life from Lukas Graham. Sure my dad didn't ask me to get a wife when I was eleven. But for now, its definitely once I was 20 years old and soon (not that soon though) I'll be 30 years old and then 60 years old. So when I think back life had been going quite fast at some times although what is in hold for me in the future I do not know, but I know it would be better.

Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots

"Wish we could turn back time to the good old days 
 When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out"

Its what we wanted when we were young.... to grow up and do things grown up would do. Somehow we didn't realise how much responsibility that is needed to be an adult and forgotten that those times are the easiest when we don't have to worry about anything. After graduation, or even during uni times.... we can't live that life anymore and were wishing so bad that we could go back but now its just stress to get things done the social way.

"Used to play pretend, give each other different names, we would build a rocket ship and  then we’d fly it far away 
 Used to dream of outer space, but now they’re laughing at our face singing “wake up, you  need to make money”"

Each and everyone of us had dreams... to become this, to become that. Sooner or later we realised that not all can be achieved, some achieved half, some achieved part of it while others changed their dreams to accept reality due to many restrictions. Most importantly, when you graduate it really is a wake up call for you that you need to make money in order to survive.

Zero - Chris Brown

"Ask how many nights I've been thinking of you, zero, zero 
 (Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero) 
 That's how many fucks I give"

Ok after all that life talk, time to talk about something different. This past few months (to be exact a couple of months before February) made me super disappointed, damn emo and thinking a lot till I cant sleep. Those never gonna happen relationship stuff bla bla bla. By February its time to get used to it and change the way of thinking that Its time to be selfish. So now Im trying to give less fucks... otherwise it hurts.

Me, Myself and I - Bebe Rexha & G-Eazy

"Oh, it's just me, myself and I
 Solo ride until I die
 Cause I, got me for life
 (Got me for life, yeah)
 Oh I don't need a hand to hold
 Even when the night is cold
 I got that fire in my soul

 I don't need anything to get me through the night
 Except the beat that's in my heart
 And it's keeping me alive"

So... with that being said, I need to be stuck alone for don't know how long. I missed the times when I enjoy being alone not needing anyone to accompany, and don't give a fuck of people going out with friends always having fun.... That shit might not happen to me many times but I need to be enjoying myself some alone time, go somewhere. Sometimes I kinda missed Initial D, the arcade life where Im doing things alone and enjoying it. Now everything I do I hope someone approves of it and I feel hollow when nobody see's it. But nonetheless, I can get through the night without anything and will get through it without feeling any bad pessimistic stuff... soon.

Signing off with that... and Its officially 1 month and 10 days left to New Zealand